I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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