wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
