Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Randomize
