So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
And then the night went full on bisexual.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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