yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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