I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
