She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
