well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
