he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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