feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
i need some magic done to my vagina
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
