making cat noises will not fix the situation.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
