Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
