My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Randomize
