NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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