Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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