Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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