I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
