Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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