I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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