Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
