She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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