Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
