I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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