I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
