So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
