mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Randomize
