it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
