i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
