I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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