Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I can't turn off my feet"
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
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