the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
