Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize
