Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
