I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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