You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
