just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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