my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
