White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
