I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Everyone says I win the strip club
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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