I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
