16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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