The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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