the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
