Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
drinking out of a sandbucket again
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
