gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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