i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
my god I love twenty year old dicks
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
