my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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