He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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