His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
