If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
My vagina just clenched in fear
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