You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
