singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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