He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Randomize
