I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
