We won't sleep together?
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
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