Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
