I'm jealous of your bromance
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
