The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
