dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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