Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
