Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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