69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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