Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
