So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
